You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
