Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
