You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
