he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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