Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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