Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
