Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
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