Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Randomize
