So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
