Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
