plz talk dirty to me
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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