Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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