and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
