Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize