ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
