Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
