Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
