Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
