its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize