I wish i was in the wii world.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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