I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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