That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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