That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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