this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
