JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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