so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
