she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
