Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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