i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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