is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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