Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
