i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
