The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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