Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
