i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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