Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
