office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
