Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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