If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
