on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
