i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Randomize