They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
