i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
