WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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