cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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