no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
