Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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