I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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