now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Reggie can tackle my bush.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
