you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
