You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
