3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
