and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
