My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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