So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
