So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
wow bdsm is so cute
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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