He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize